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September 4, 2016 / Kevin Ford

‘Juke Joint’ Lucas Calhoun vs. Chuck Taylor™ from CHIKARA King of Trios 2016

Post by Kevin Ford:

Taylor™ holds onto the microphone as the bell rings. Calhoun shows off some karate moves. Taylor™ quotes Chuck D and says “Elvis don’t mean nothing to me”, and that he’s here to wrestle, not do karate. Calhoun gets angry when Taylor™ tussels his hair. Taylor™ tries to attack with the microphone but Calhoun strikes him tot he floor. Calhoun chops Taylor™ around ringside. After some rapid fire chops, Calhoun gets the idea to hook Taylor™ in the ropes and get the fans to chop him in a conga line. The conga line lasts for three minutes and 40 seconds and includes, in addition to the Chikarmy, Bryce Remsburg, Gary from Smart Mark Video, Vlad Radinov, Leonard F. Chikarason, Joey Styles, Moustache Mountain, Yolanda, and the cameraman. After all the damage, Taylor™’s arm only drops twice. As he slowly recovers on the mat, Taylor™ informs us that it is Beyonce’s birthday, and sings a song he wrote for 1995: “Say My Name.” He takes a seat on the top turnbuckle and says he’s pretty sure he has internal bleeding. Taylor™ states he and Calhoun could be partners. Calhoun is touched and hugs Taylor™. Taylor™ tries to hit Calhoun with the microphone, but Calhoun has it scouted. He hip tosses Taylor™ off the top and gives him a karate punch to the stomach. A falling chop to the chest gets Calhoun the pin at 12:07.

What’s there to say? This was exactly the levity the crowd needed after the DISASTER of a Tag Gauntlet that came before it. The less you know about that match, the better. *

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