Princess Kimberlee, Jervis Cottonbelly & Los Ice Creams vs. Devastation Corporation & Jaka from CHIKARA Top Banana
Post by Kevin Ford
This was the finals of the Challenge of the Immortals, a 90 match double round robin tournament CHIKARA held over the course of 2016. Ten teams of four competed over the course of the season, with each win counting as 1 point. The two teams with the most points would square off in the finals at the Season Finale. This is that match. Each member of the winning team receives a golden opportunity, which is an automatic title shot (title of their choosing), regardless of point standing, whenever they wish.
Kimberlee’s team represents Crown & Court while Smashmaster’s team represents the Wrecking Crew. Max Smashmaster is sporting an Ed Grimley hairstyle. Jaka slowly pulls off his head scarf before jabbing Jr. in the throat and stomping him down in the corner. Jr. stops Jaka’s charge with a couple back elbows. Jaka absorbs an enzuigiri and mows him down with a clothesline. Cottonbelly ducks McMassive’s strike and gives him a rock-a-bye suplex. McMassive lariats him to the floor. Rumblecrunch knees Hijo in the stomach and pummels on his back. Hijo ducks a clotheslines and pinches Rumblecrunch’s posterior. He then hits the clothesline. McMassive clears the apron of Los Ice Creams and Cottonbelly, then blows a kiss to Kimberlee before landing a tope con hilo onto all of her partners! The two captains, Max Smashmaster and Princess Kimberlee stand across from one another. He spits in her face, resulting in a flurry of forearms. She grabs a waistlock whih Smashmaster elbows his way out of. Los Ice Creams try assisting Kimberlee with a Frankensteiner, but Smashmaster powerbombs her back first into the metal part of the top turnbuckle! Smashmaster lands a top rope moonsault, but Los Ice Creams save her from being pinned. Jaka attacks Cottonbelly on the floor. McMassive spins out Hijo into a powerbomb. This leads to the Wrecking Crew bullying Hijo in their corner while the rest of Crown & Court recovers. McMassive misses a kick on the ropes, crotching himself. He smartly clears the apron, then turns around into a Cold Stone Stunner from Hijo! Jaka whips Hijo to the corner. Rumblecrunch misses a splash. Jaka splashes into Rumblecrunch. Hijo uses a flying hip attack to take down McMassive and then tags in Kimberlee! She German suplexes all four members of the Wrecking Crew. All of the Crown & Court deliver ten punches in all four corners. They then send all of the Wrecking Crew into one another. The Dev Corp is sent to the floor. Jaka fights off the Crown & Court, dropping Jr. with the Jumanji Bomb for two. McMassive tosses Kimberlee to the floor by her hair. This angers Cottonbelly who unloads with forearms onto McMassive. McMassive drops him with the Bossman Slam. Cottonbelly kicks out! Kimberlee pounds on McMassive. Smashmaster throws her out. He jabs Hijo in the throat and calls for the Master Blaster. Hijo flips over Smashmaster’s shoulders and shoves him into the ropes. McMassive tumbles to the floor onto Jaka, Rumblecrunch, Jr., and Cottonbelly! Hijo schoolboys Smashmaster for two. Hijo uses Smashmaster’s to walk the top rope and clear the floor with a somersault senton. Hijo comes back in, only for Smashmaster to catch him with a tombstone piledriver. Hijo kicks out and rolls to the floor. Kimberlee dishes out strikes to McMassive and Smashmaster. She ducks Jaka’s T’Challa kick. Rumblecrunch misses a strike and hits Jaka! Jaka falls into Smashmaster and they fall to the floor. She backdrops McMassive onto Rumblecrunch! She ascends the ropes. McMassive follows and wants a super belly-to-belly suplex on Kimberlee. Kimberlee powerbombs McMassive back to the mat and folds him up in the Alligator Clutch for the pin 15:52!
This was a work of art, with all the pieces from the season falling into place. The Wrecking Crew were vicious (that powerbomb Kimberlee took was brutal and could have ended poorly), used all the same tricks that kept Crown & Court down in the past, but the tenacity and heart from Crown & Court allowed them to persevere. The crowd was hot for everything. We saw cracks in the Wrecking Crew, no doubt stemming from the lack of Bakabella’s guidance. Kimberlee’s impenetrable Alligator Clutch, which was built up all season long, is what gave the underdogs the win. You couldn’t ask for a better blow off to a 90 match tournament. ****
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