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November 23, 2013 / Bill Thompson

Biff Busick vs. Icarus from WrestleJam 2013

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Thoughts from Bill Thompson:

This is a first round match in the WrestleJam Heavyweight Championship tournament.

I can only assume that my boss, one Mr. Thomas Jefferson Hawke, does not like me. Here I was thinking I was a good employee. I churn out content, I meet my imaginary deadlines; I am the employee that all employers dream of. Imagine my surprise when I started watching this match and knew about two minutes into the video that I was not going to like what I was seeing. My boss had betrayed me, he had set me up and tantalized me with the prospect of Biff Busick while the real prize was the awfulness of Icarus. Shame on you Mr. Hawke, shame on you!

I didn’t deserve to have to watch Icarus’ unfunny comedy routine. Maybe that’s the act that is over in CHIKARA; I don’t know as I don’t usually watch CHIKARA. What I do know is that whatever Icarus’ act may be it did not work for me in the slightest. He struck me as a slightly more smaller Colt Cabana, except Icarus wrestles like he’s an athlete and he really isn’t. At one point he goes for the Rope Hold Enzuguri that has become all the rage these days. Only Icarus isn’t athletic enough to get his foot up to Busick’s face. The end result is a shoddy looking tap to Busick’s chest. That sums up Icarus in this match; a non-athlete attempting to do athletic things and failing.

Then there is Icarus’ comedy, or I should say his attempts at comedy. I didn’t laugh, I wanted to, but I didn’t. Icarus’ shtick isn’t funny, it’s not even close to funny. He’s loud and obnoxious, but at no point did he come across to me as an appealing performer. I can buy asshole funny, but what I can’t do is buy into asshole funny where there’s only a guy acting like an asshole minus any of the funny.

The match is at its best when Busick is beating the tar out of Icarus, but even there the match is a letdown. Icarus screams and genuflects in a way that isn’t funny or compelling, but in a way that made me want to stop the match and watch something else. There’s only so much Busick can do when he’s in the ring with a guy who doesn’t bring a single positive trait to the table. So, yeah, Busick was Busick, but in this case him being Biff Busick wasn’t enough to make me care.

Maybe this was an off night for Icarus, I sure as heck hope that’s the case. If it wasn’t and this is the usual routine for Icarus, count me out as someone who wants to see him wrestle again. I’m sure there are people who dig his act; I say more power to them and more power to Icarus for playing to his audience. I am not his audience, I am as far removed from Icarus’ audience as one can get. This match sucked, and my boss sucks for even suggesting I watch this monstrosity.

Bill Thompson

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