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October 13, 2012 / Reed

OI4K vs. Rich Swann & ACH from CZW’s Cerebral 2012

Review by Reed Benson:

I want to mention off the top that Sami Callihan and Nevaeh are at ringside for this match, but they don’t do anything. You barely see them, so it’s not at all important. I guess CZW’s YouTube uploader thought that sticking their names in the title would get a few more hits.

It takes around three minutes for the match to actually begin. What we learn from the prolonged stalling is that the Crists (especially Dave) are miserable, while ACH and Swann are goofballs. We also get a homophobic chant started, and now I can’t tell which team is the babyface one. Always a great way to begin a story.

Once we finally get it going, it’s clear that the Crists are the experienced team and don’t mind raking their boots across their opponents’ faces, making lewd pin attempts, and cutting off the ring. Also, Dave Crist spends the majority of the match in a perpetual state of scowling. Therefore, OI4K must be the heels, right? Except that they continually play to the crowd with their “O-I!” “4-K!” call and answer gimmick. But this is CZW, so I guess sometimes the crowd plays heel, too.

Swann and ACH are decent together and do show signs of good tag team chemistry. My favorite spot of theirs is when Swann hits a handspring Ace crusher (a la Jay Lethal), and ACH immediately follows with a slingshot Ace crusher. Then they do some kicks. They also both display their respective takes on the 450 splash (Swann’s is from standing, ACH’s from the second rope). It would’ve been cool if they could’ve hit them simultaneously on one opponent, but that might be a little hard to pull off…much like their one major botch, a snap hurricanrana followed by a diving splash (comes off terribly).

The Crists, as I said before, are the experienced team, so they string some nice moves together and feed off of each other’s teamwork. Now, you would think that this would lead to a good story of the well-oiled tandem picking apart the more recently assembled duo interspersed with hope spots and some signs of tag team progress from the little guys. I think they try to do that, but the crowd is kind of flat, and I don’t think the Crists are allowed to get heat on Swann for long enough to create a deep emotional investment in the proceedings.

The biggest negative in this match (as well as several modern matches I’ve seen) is the ineffectiveness of kicks. So many jumping kicks and superkicks make this loud popping sound, so you would think that they actually do some damage, yet the wrestler taking them often shrugs them off, hits a move, and continues like it’s nothing. This happened a few times here, leading me to believe that ACH’s and Swann’s legs are about as powerful as a baby chihuahua’s.

The finish came when Shane Strickland (and his iPod) came out to distract Swann…leading to Swann continuing to fight back but getting caught and obliterated with a tombstone/double stomp combo. OI4K won, but it seemed a lot cleaner than the bookers probably wanted it to.

Overall, a very bland match to me. They tried, but they just couldn’t seem to bring it to a higher level. I wouldn’t bother with it.

– Reed Benson

If you’re interested, I’m working on a Tumblr where I write about wrestling in the form of letters to friends. It’s at


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